A Taste of Fakery/Quotes
:Ivan: Guys, what are we doing in this junkyard? :Chester: You'll see. :(at this point, Mark Chang is flying in his spaceship in the sky, lands in the junkyard and comes out of his spaceship) :Mark: Hey, guys, what's new? :(Ivan screams) :Wanda: Don't be alarmed, Ivan. That's Mark Chang, he's an alien from a strange planet known as Yugopotamia. :Astronov: Is he friendly? :Timmy: Of course! I'm his best friend. :Ivan: Wow, a real life alien! Or is that some kind of cheesy Halloween costume? :Mark: Like, I can tell you now, it's not a Halloween costume. This is how I normally look! :Ivan: Okay then. My name's Ivan Prestonovich. I'm a Russian kid who came to live here in Dimmsdale, and I have fairy godparents, just like Timmy. My fairy godfather is Astronov, who is pretty smart, but a bit strict. :Astronov: I once made him recite the whole book of Da Rules by heart. :Ivan: It wasn't easy, and it was like reading "War and Peace". I also have a fairy godmother, known as Neptunia. Neptunia's a bit more playful, kind of a klutz, and she's very pretty. :Neptunia: Y'know, Mark, I think you're kind of cute. (to Astronov) No offense, darling. :Mark: That's okay. Like, it's cool that I have 2 friends with fairy godparents. I feel kind of hungry. :Ivan: Hang on, Mark. (pulls out an apple) Want an apple? :Mark: No! :Ivan: I seem to like them. (puts the apple away, pulls out a chocolate bar) What about chocolate? :Mark: NOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! :Ivan: What's his problem? Is he lactose intolerant? :Timmy: His species eat different food from ours, they usually eat what we find disgusting. They won't eat chocolate, because it's poison for Yugopotamians. (whispers) He likes to eat garbage. (normal) And yes, Yugopotamians are probably lactose intolerant. :Ivan: Okay... (puts the chocolate bar away, then pulls out a used coffee filter) What about this used coffee filter? It's technically considered garbage. :Mark: Now this is more like it! (eats the coffee filter) Yummy! :Tootie: Ew, gross! ---- :Neptunia: So, is it true that you can transform into anyone or anything? :Mark: Yes, and it's all thanks to the Fake-i-fier! Wanna see me turn into a flower pot? (activates the Fake-i-fier, turns the dial to "FLOWER POT", and transforms into it) Or a refrigerator? (turns the dial to "REFRIGERATOR", and transforms into a refrigerator) Maybe into a Ninja Turtle? (turns the dial to "DONATELLO (NINJA TURTLE)", and transforms into Donatello from TMNT, then pushes the reset button, and the dial changes to "MARK CHANG", changing him back into his normal self) This thing can transform you into anything you can imagine! :Ivan: Even an orange bobcat with an exclamation mark shirt? :Mark: Yeah, although I don't recommend doing that. Here, you give it a try. :Ivan: Okay. (puts on the Fake-i-fier, turns the dial to "GARBAGE CAN", transforms into a garbage can, Chester laughs heartly, then hugs Ivan, changing him back) Hey, why did I transform back? What's wrong with this thing? :Mark: You see, the Fake-i-fier malfunctions when you show affection, like a hug or a kiss from a girl. :Ivan: Well, that kinda sucks. Hey, as long you don't transform me into a sexy female scientist-slash-ghost hunter! (laughs, Mark turns the dial to "MADDIE FENTON" and Ivan transforms into Maddie Fenton from Danny Phantom. Ivan is not amused and resets the dial to "IVAN PRESTONOVICH", changing back) Very funny, Mark. :Mark: What, you got a problem with jump suits? :Ivan: No, of course not! I just feel uncomfortable when I transform into a girl or a woman. Why don't you and Timmy make an improved version of the Fake-i-fier? :Cosmo: That's a great idea! (poofs Timmy a lab coat) ---- :Mark: Children, BEHOLD! The Fake-i-fier 2.0! :A.J.: What makes it different from the first Fake-i-fier? :Timmy: This thing no longer malfunctions from affection, but this time, from physical pain. :Poof: Can you prove it? :Mark: Yes, but we need volunteers. (thinking, points towards Chester) Probably him. :Chester: Oh boy... (he puts on the Fake-i-fier 2.0) :Timmy: Now set it to anyone you want. :Chester: Anyone? :Timmy: Yeah, for example, you can turn into me. :Chester: Okay. (turns the dial to "TIMMY TURNER") :Timmy: If you want to transform, you have to press a button to do just that. :Chester: (pushes a button, transforms into Timmy; in Timmy's voice) It works, so far. :Mark: Okay. Test #1: Affection. See if this thing can handle affection. Tootie will demonstrate. Don't worry, she won't give you any hives. :Tootie: (looks at Timmy and Chester as Timmy) Which one is Chester? :Timmy: Over there, I'm in the lab coat. (points to his right, Tootie goes to Chester in disguise, hugs him, then kisses him for 5 seconds. Nothing seems to happen) :Tootie: It didn't malfunction. :Timmy: That's good. Test #1 is now complete! :Mark: Test #2: Physical Endurance. Let's see if this thing can handle pain and malfunction. :Ivan: Please forgive me, Chester. (punches Chester a few times, who yells in agony and transforms into random things everytime Ivan punches him, like a sponge, a punching bag and a computer, then Chester transforms into Timmy after a few seconds) Now for the finishing move. (pulls out a needle and pokes Chester in the finger, who then yells in Timmy's voice and changes back) Test #2 is now a success! Looks like this will be a lot more useful than the old one! (throws the old Fake-i-fier in the garbage, puts a bandage on Chester's finger, while Vicky picks up the old Fake-i-fier from the trash in the background) There, there, it's not so bad, it'll heal very soon. Again, I'm sorry. :Chester: It's okay, I've been through worse situations. :Timmy: You can also use the on-board keyboard to transform into anyone or anything. (types in the words "RECYCLE BIN" and pushes the button on Chester, transforming him into the recycle bin) See? (resets the dial, Chester changes back) :Chester: Yeah, I have a feeling that this may come in handy for some Yugopotamians! ---- :Ivan: That was fun! I forgot to ask this beforehand, Mark Chang, but what are you doing here in Dimmsdale, anyway? :Mark: You see, Ivan, I'm, like, on the run from my family. :Ivan: Why? That sounds very absurd! :Mark: I'm running from them because they're forcing me to marry the evil Princess Mandie, who's quite hideous. Here's a photo of her. (hands Ivan a photo of Princess Mandie, his eyes and mouth go wide open, and his glasses fall off) :Ivan: Hideous? (puts his glasses back on) Are you off your nut?! She's beautiful! :Mark: Well, by human standards, yeah, but not by Yugopotamian standards! :Ivan: I understand. :Astronov: If I ever meet that woman, I only look at her once, and tell her to go back where she came from. (to Neptunia) Because I have a wife that's just as beautiful, but nowhere near as evil. :Neptunia: You got that right! (kisses Astronov on the cheek) :Ivan: Now, how am I gonna deal with Princess Mandie and your parents, Mark? Wait, the Fake-i-fier 2.0 you just invented! I wish I had one! (Neptunia and Astronov poof a Fake-i-fier 2.0 to him, who then puts it on) I have a plan. I'll go, disguised as you. :Neptunia: We'll accompany him just incase. (she and Astronov transform into Yugopotamians) :Mark: But, like, what if Mandie wants to hold hands? :Ivan: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. :Mark: What if she wants to kiss? :Ivan: I'm SO prepared to make that sacrifice. :Mark: What if she...? :Ivan: Look, Mark, you don't want to know how far I'll go. Category:Quotes Category:Quote pages Category:Episode quote pages Category:The All New Fairly OddParents!